Is He/She Abusive? – You’re not Crazy. Stop the abuse.
Are you being abused? You may not know how to tell, but even worse, you may be thinking that you are the crazy one.
Abusers work hard to distort our reality to make their reality feel safer.
So what is abuse? Is it someone who hits you emotionally or mentally hurts you to get what they want? Sometimes, mostly not! Ask yourself this: does your partner hurt you repeatedly in any of those ways? Does he or she do it to satisfy their own emotional needs, or because they’re out of control?
Does she or he use the situation to lock you in so you have to tolerate it, or make a huge sacrifice to get away? If you see this dynamic in your relationship, you are being abused. The hurt of abuse can come in many ways, including physical attacks, mental attacks, verbal attacks, sexual attacks, or contact with friends and family.
You’re not Crazy
For many of us, struggling to live with this kind of abusive partner, the first handhold we need to grasp is that we are not crazy. Abusive behaviour isn’t normal. It is caused by an underlying disorder.
Most often, the disorders are borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, or sociopath – technically called antisocial personality disorder. People who suffer from these disorders have extreme emotions, which lead them to actions that can range from puzzling to brutal. Living with them is painful and confusing.
Personality disorders are aptly named, because the minds of people who suffer from these disorders work differently than healthy people.
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